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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2013 17:09:57 GMT
I plan to write a new set of lyrics everyday or every couple of days to really try and improve because at the moment I really struggle to write lyrics for tunes I've made up. For my first attempt I just chose to put pen to paper as fast as possible, and went with the generic theme of love/romance. Enjoy and please give criticism please.
'It's enough to sit next to you, See what you're gonna do, I get a buzz from doing it, But, it kills me when it's through.'
'Now, sometimes I think she feels the same, But, I'm never sure if that is the truth, Sometimes I think I'd be better off, But, these urges can be so aloof.'
'Oh yeah, my steady legs are starting sway, All these burning thoughts are blazing away, now, come on and tell me, which way's it gonna go, 'cus, girl, you're the only flower I really know'
'Now, even when it's over, I still want to look back, My made up mind is heavy now, it's staring to bore and crack, oh yeah'
All I got, at the moment.
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Post by SirTrashBeard on Oct 16, 2013 23:18:35 GMT
Criticism is, really, only valuable and viable when it comes to art, only from yourself. But if anything, I wouldn't change person-directive in your second set. The rest of the lyrics are aimed directly at the damsel of interest, while that section starts off with "...I think she feels..." where me, personally, would "...I think you feel the same...". Otherwise, I think you have gold here man. Good stuff.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2013 18:21:07 GMT
Thanks, I appreciate, I'll do some more lyrics in the future where I try out your idea. Thanks!
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